Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just high enough for therapy.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
