Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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