If i come over, it means nothing
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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