Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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