No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
