I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You took a bar mat shot.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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