we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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