Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
