I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize