mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
