hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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