Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
