who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it hurts more in the daytime
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
