i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize