Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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