I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
this is an emotional support booty call
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
