I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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