you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
