I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize