garbage
garbage dick
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you win
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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