The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
