Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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