So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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