I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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