This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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