we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
