This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
