your thong is hanging out like whoa
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we're making bets on your personal life
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
