Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
