I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
no you cant smoke seaweed
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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