At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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