can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
