Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
