Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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