Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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