Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
