so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
