oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
