My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
operation have a gay friend backfired
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
