I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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