So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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