I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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