its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
