Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
