so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
