No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
