all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
