I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
