Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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