So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
