Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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