I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
