I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
