she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
