if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
