Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
