well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
3pm strippers are depressing
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
