i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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