i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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