I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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