Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
