the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
