He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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