OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
