Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
