I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
