i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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