dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The beer is more important than you right now.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i think my cat just said my name.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
